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it really upsets me when someone shares their problems only to have someone else respond with, "but at least you arent..." or "well, it could be worse...". or when someone explains their depression and then finishes with, "but listen to me.. your problems are so much more..."
listen to me and listen good.
problems are problems are problems. who am i, who are you or who is anyone else to judge their severity. where is this big magical scale that measures their weight? who decides who wins the pain and depression prize? problems are problems are problems. it is how you are affected by your individual problem that counts.
if you have a broken heart because your wife left you for another man. if you are consumed with worry over the illness of friend. if your child has run away from home. if you have been arrested. lost your job, failed an exam, claimed bankruptcy.... the way you feel due to your individual problem is either equal to, greater than or less than the next person who is suffering due to theirs. but it is still pain and greif and depression and anger and sadness and worry... and your feelings are valid; do not let someone else question the way YOU feel.
the problems, the issues, those are facts. they have happened or are occuring at the moment. there is nothing you, or i, can do to change them. what you can change is the way you let it affect you. and when you are free to express your feelings with regards to your individual problem, without fear of being judged against the next person with the "bigger" burdens, you may see things in a different light - find new perspective - manage your pain.
the world revolves around you. your feelings are the centre of your universe. when they are off balance, your universe spins out of control. so come and speak freely... cry and talk until my ears bleed. dont tell me that you feel wrong sharing your 'petty problems' because i am going through something so much bigger. dont be ashamed to complain because your brother has it worse. if you feel like crap. and i feel like crap. and he feels like crap. we are all in this together; equals. |
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