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everything is ok. i am ok. this is exactly what i wanted. closure. to hear your voice. to see you. to have you tell me ... everything is ok. i dont need anything else. you feed me... i tell you im not hungry. you serve me. anyway. i eat your apologies. i am not full.. but i am comfortable.
until i see you. again. and everything comes back. every thought. every feeling. every dream. every wish. every memory. self creation. but still... beautiful. i am overwhelmed with sadness. i hurt. i cry.
anger. anger follows. angry at you for knowing what you do to me. and still you taunt me with your words. and your song. angry at me for allowing you, once again, to draw me in. when i was so close. so so close. i was gone. and you were... nothing. as long as i didnt look. we did not exist. and then... you breathed life into the dead. and i followed you. i want to break something. a million pieces. like me. broken.
i know what is right. i know what is wrong. and i tell myself. stop. but you know my heart. an entity of its own. and it pulls me. your magnetic force... the strength. chemistry only works when the formula is right.
so right.
i add too much. i feel the explosion.
how many times do we try to make this experiment work. how many times do we fail before we achieve perfection. how many times to i alter the ingredients. or...
maybe.
there is no formula. for you and i. |
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