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so as some of you know i was involved in a motor vehicle accident over the weekend. i was stopped behind another truck at a crosswalk when some dill decided to drive his chevy into my ass end. nothing broken (well... except my car), no bruises... just extreme stiffness which the doctors say "will get worse before it gets better". so i am stuck in a cycle of sit until my back cant stand it, stand until my legs cant stand it, take an extremely hot shower, rinse, repeat...but that is not the story i want to tell. i want to tell you all that grandma was right!
lets rewind to morning (err.. well, actually it was afternoon, but i had slept in after a late night and was enjoying my first cup of coffee so, for all intents and purposes "morning" is more fitting...). i am sitting here, checking out some sweet new tunes, fueling up with some nice full city dark roast when my husband decided we "had" to go get his truck "now." so i throw on a hoodie over my tshirt (that i picked up off my bedroom floor when i first woke up) and my lounging pants (you know the ones that are so comfortable that you've actually worn them to a completely transparent state?) and off we went to go pick up his truck. i drop him off turn around and 5 mins later i am sitting in the opposite lane of traffic picking glass out of the back of my head and vibrating like a girls best friend - batteries not required!
i remember the entire accident. i can see it - SO clearly. i heard the guy slam on his breaks, looked in my rear view and saw him swerving toward the right in an effort to avoid me and somehow i reacted by cranking my wheels to the left to avoid hitting the truck ahead of me. it happened so fast.. i actually thought he was gonna miss me but no... he hit me. hard. hard enough anyway that he pushed my car into the oncoming lane so that i ended up ahead of the truck that was originally in front of me. at least i avoided hitting the people in the crosswalk, which was my biggest fear at that moment.
my first instinct was to get out of the car, but my legs chose otherwise. i remember my second thought was that my music was still playing (thievery corporation - the richest man in babylon) and my third thought was that i must have blacked out because the cops were already here and i didnt remember anyone calling them or there being any time delay (turns out they were 2 cars behind the truck that hit me and witnessed the entire event).after that i dont remember much. the officer told me he had called an ambulance which, at the time, i thought was unnecessary. i remember talking to police, paramedics, the guy who hit me, my girlfriend who drove by and saw me there, my husband who was about 2 blocks behind me when it happened... but i dont remember what i said or what they said to me. my thoughts were consumed by one thing... "grandma was right. i should have worn clean underwear!"
yes, there i was. standing on the busiest street in town in my straight-off-the floor clothes, without a shower; hair still half beautiful from the gala fundraiser i had attended the night before, half mashed where it had danced with my pillow all night. no socks inside my shoes and.. no, grandma, not only was i not wearing clean underwear.. i wasnt wearing any at all! everything was going on around me... flashing lights, sweeping glass, questions, statements... and all i could think about were those haunting words of advice... "always wear clean underwear because you never know if you will get in an accident!"
yes grandma, you were right. lesson learned. from this day forward i will follow the grandmother checklist: gasoline? check. seatbelt? check. clean underwear? check.ok, we can go now. |
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