joy and pain

a few days ago i had a conversation with someone who asked the question, "why do we continue to do things that dont make us feel good?" its true. we, as humans, do. its like asking, "why are you banging your head against that wall?".. the answer? because it feels so damn good when i stop? seriously, i've been thinking about the question since then. why do we continually do things that we know will make us hurt, ill, crazy, sad, angry... is a good question that begged for an answer.

my own truth is that i do the these things because the things that give me the greatest pain are also the things that give me the purest joy.

can people truly know sadness if they were not first happy? could they not feel pain without experiencing pleasure? could they not feel sick if they never knew healthy? think about it. if you did not love someone deeply, it would be impossible for you to feel the pain of a broken heart. would you trade the love.. give away that experience... to avoid that subsequent pain?

the pain and sadness that i have experienced in my life are feelings i would never discount. i have cried. i have yelled. i have thrown things. i have broken things. i have cried more. i have felt my own heart breaking. i have been dizzy with sickness and been so low i honestly didnt know if i would ever come back up. but i would never trade the experiences that led me there for anything. to have not known pure joy, extreme happiness and true love would be a life not worth living.