the girl opened her eyes
as bare feet touched ground.
she walked to the cabinet
and stared with a frown.
gazing at bottles
of yellow, blue, red
choice of daily emoition
she weighed in her head.
its a sad day for me
if my choice is blue
moping and eating
with nothing to do
i'll cry and i'll sleep
no visitors; no calls
depressing thoughts
and bare white walls.
if i choose red
i'll be filled with rage,
bitter hate and fuck your way.
i'll smash and break
i'll scream and yell.
i'll damn the world.
its my personal hell.
if i choose yellow
im sure to find love
its the logical choice
and its been long enough
i can fill my mind with butterflies;
joyfully be hypnotized
as i float through the day
in a lovely trance
i'll sing
i'll spin
i'll hum
i'll dance
the girl couldnt decide
and so she took two;
one of the red
one of the blue.
i feel better with purple right now
she said
'cause when yellow wears off
i would rather be dead
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[(constant observation + social absorption + your secrets) + (vivid imagination + sleep deprivation + ADD)] x (the perfect song(s) + gin*) / (460922 x emotion) + .5(humour x sarcasm x smartass) = http://maybeimight.blogspot.com/ ~ *may be substituted with spirits, wine or beer of equal value (results may vary slightly)
Moment Of Truth
i usually do not know what i am going to write until after the words have already spilled out. sometimes the words come so fast that it isnt until after ive put my hands in my lap, sit back and read that i realize what i've said. at this point fear usually takes over and i worry how my words will be interpreted by those that take the time to read them. i then struggle with my desire to publish my uncensored thoughts vs. the knowledge that i am opening myself to the possibility of upsetting people i care about or allowing others to crawl inside my head, my heart and my soul. the fear that they will be misguided by my words and assume things about me and my life, or worse, that they will actually understand what im saying and decide im just some crazy chick that thinks too much and values emotion over reason. i would like to say i dont care; it doesnt matter what people think of me; but the truth is
it does.
now that i have admitted (mostly to myself) that i care. i can begin to manage that fear. and so i will write and hope that those of you who visit will learn more about who i truly am; and that you will leave your comments and ask me questions and assume nothing and want to know more. and if you dont, thats ok - just please dont pretend you do.
i took a break from writing because of past readers assumptions, misunderstanding and lack of respect. they made me feel like the words i wrote were wrong. i let their ignorance and lack of appreciation for my voice - my art - first seclude, and then silence me, for far too long. i finally realized that i was caring too much about what the people who shouldnt matter think of me - and i was leaving the people who wanted to know more in the dark.
polly is alive and blogging.
oh, one more thing... if you are grammar nazi or spelling police - please dont bother. ive heard it all before. i have severe punctuation fetish, except for apostrophes which kill my mood. i dont use caps. not because im too lazy to hit the shift key, but because i dont like the way they look. they distract me. i know it makes your teeth itch; but thats me. get over it. you do shit that makes me want to break stuff too ;)
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