dont you know that
no means
maybe
yes i should have
smoldered
when your fingers
touched my shoulder
but instead
i turned to ice
i cant play nice
its heat i seek to melt me
but instead im sure
you felt me
shiver
shudder
at the thought of breaking
frozen in the moment
making breath
breathe out
like frosty air
i do not care
i do NOT care
let me walk
before you talk
your quiet voice
surrounds me ringing
mute outside
while inside singing
all the songs you ever wrote
stick within my throat
yes i should have
maybe
just
said
no.
more...
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[(constant observation + social absorption + your secrets) + (vivid imagination + sleep deprivation + ADD)] x (the perfect song(s) + gin*) / (460922 x emotion) + .5(humour x sarcasm x smartass) = http://maybeimight.blogspot.com/ ~ *may be substituted with spirits, wine or beer of equal value (results may vary slightly)
Moment Of Truth
i usually do not know what i am going to write until after the words have already spilled out. sometimes the words come so fast that it isnt until after ive put my hands in my lap, sit back and read that i realize what i've said. at this point fear usually takes over and i worry how my words will be interpreted by those that take the time to read them. i then struggle with my desire to publish my uncensored thoughts vs. the knowledge that i am opening myself to the possibility of upsetting people i care about or allowing others to crawl inside my head, my heart and my soul. the fear that they will be misguided by my words and assume things about me and my life, or worse, that they will actually understand what im saying and decide im just some crazy chick that thinks too much and values emotion over reason. i would like to say i dont care; it doesnt matter what people think of me; but the truth is
it does.
now that i have admitted (mostly to myself) that i care. i can begin to manage that fear. and so i will write and hope that those of you who visit will learn more about who i truly am; and that you will leave your comments and ask me questions and assume nothing and want to know more. and if you dont, thats ok - just please dont pretend you do.
i took a break from writing because of past readers assumptions, misunderstanding and lack of respect. they made me feel like the words i wrote were wrong. i let their ignorance and lack of appreciation for my voice - my art - first seclude, and then silence me, for far too long. i finally realized that i was caring too much about what the people who shouldnt matter think of me - and i was leaving the people who wanted to know more in the dark.
polly is alive and blogging.
oh, one more thing... if you are grammar nazi or spelling police - please dont bother. ive heard it all before. i have severe punctuation fetish, except for apostrophes which kill my mood. i dont use caps. not because im too lazy to hit the shift key, but because i dont like the way they look. they distract me. i know it makes your teeth itch; but thats me. get over it. you do shit that makes me want to break stuff too ;)
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